What Makes Us Adults?
When do we become men or women? When do we become "adults?" Is it a spontaneous process that occurs at a certain age? Does it happen with puberty? Or is the concept based on cultural requirements, rather than physical ones?
From an evolutionary standpoint, physical maturity occurs at puberty when we are capable of reproduction. However, being sexually mature does not necessarily ensure we possess the values that would allow us to be considered adults in our society. The gap between sexual and emotional maturity has been widening over hundreds if not thousands of years. In our supposedly civilized society, our children are protected from the awful "burden" of adulthood often into their late 20's.
Thousands of years ago, and in some tribal societies that exist today, maturity and adult status arrive during the early teen years. This transformation is celebrated with a number of solemn ceremonies intended to instill in the individual the importance of the transition. What makes them adults at this point is not their age, but their willingness to accept the responsibilities which define adult status in their society.
Be Responsible
Taking responsibility for our actions and then living with the consequences is the first step in making the transition from childhood to adulthood. Don't look for someone else to blame.
Be Honest
Tell the truth and try not to let circumstances "color" the truth. In spite of how difficult it may seem at the time, being truthful is the simplest and most
honest approach. Most importantly, be honest with yourself. This will allow you to develop more easily where the "truth" lies. Look inside yourself, we all know the difference between right and wrong, but we just don't look often enough.
Be Compassionate
Try not to look away from the suffering of others. Helping someone in need shows great strength of character and makes us more human. It will be returned a thousand fold. Remember, you may one day need a little compassion yourself.
Be Determined
Don't give up. All problems have a solution, we just need to look harder for some. Adult life continuously puts stones in our path. The more of these stones we remove ourselves, the more confident we are in our ability to solve problems. Remember, we can accomplish anything we wish if we want it
enough.
Don't be Afraid to Fail
Failure is only a stepping stone to success. Try! If you have tried your best and failed, eventually you will succeed. The only true failure occurs when we give up.
Gaurd Your Values
Do not, in the face of circumstances, compromise your values. Don't do something that is against your better judgment. Do what you believe is "right" in spite of all outside pressures. Ultimately we are judged by this value system and "labels" have a tendency to stick with us for a long time.
Be Careful of Friendships
We are often judged by the company we keep. Choose your friends carefully. Try to choose friends who have similar values. Guard your friendships. You will only have a few true friends in your lifetime and they should be treasured like gold. You will never be "poor" if you have friends.
Learn to Like Yourself
Self-esteem is often troublesome, particularly when we are just beginning to learn about life. There will be a number of people ready and willing to point out your faults. Try to learn from honest criticism, but don't allow others to change your perception of yourself. The capacity to love and be loved is completely dependent upon our ability to like ourselves first.
Have a Positive Attitude
Start each day fresh. Every morning we have an opportunity to set the tone with which we approach that day. Find something to be happy about and something to look forward to each day. Life and our approach to living is ten percent what actually happens and the other ninety percent is how we react to what happens. If you can find the good in all situations or at least find some good, your life will be much happier. There are very few things in life important enough to require sadness or worry. Learn to recognize what is and is not important, and deal with the important matters with as much humor as possible.
Sa Bum Nim Jon Simonds
From an evolutionary standpoint, physical maturity occurs at puberty when we are capable of reproduction. However, being sexually mature does not necessarily ensure we possess the values that would allow us to be considered adults in our society. The gap between sexual and emotional maturity has been widening over hundreds if not thousands of years. In our supposedly civilized society, our children are protected from the awful "burden" of adulthood often into their late 20's.
Thousands of years ago, and in some tribal societies that exist today, maturity and adult status arrive during the early teen years. This transformation is celebrated with a number of solemn ceremonies intended to instill in the individual the importance of the transition. What makes them adults at this point is not their age, but their willingness to accept the responsibilities which define adult status in their society.
Be Responsible
Taking responsibility for our actions and then living with the consequences is the first step in making the transition from childhood to adulthood. Don't look for someone else to blame.
Be Honest
Tell the truth and try not to let circumstances "color" the truth. In spite of how difficult it may seem at the time, being truthful is the simplest and most
honest approach. Most importantly, be honest with yourself. This will allow you to develop more easily where the "truth" lies. Look inside yourself, we all know the difference between right and wrong, but we just don't look often enough.
Be Compassionate
Try not to look away from the suffering of others. Helping someone in need shows great strength of character and makes us more human. It will be returned a thousand fold. Remember, you may one day need a little compassion yourself.
Be Determined
Don't give up. All problems have a solution, we just need to look harder for some. Adult life continuously puts stones in our path. The more of these stones we remove ourselves, the more confident we are in our ability to solve problems. Remember, we can accomplish anything we wish if we want it
enough.
Don't be Afraid to Fail
Failure is only a stepping stone to success. Try! If you have tried your best and failed, eventually you will succeed. The only true failure occurs when we give up.
Gaurd Your Values
Do not, in the face of circumstances, compromise your values. Don't do something that is against your better judgment. Do what you believe is "right" in spite of all outside pressures. Ultimately we are judged by this value system and "labels" have a tendency to stick with us for a long time.
Be Careful of Friendships
We are often judged by the company we keep. Choose your friends carefully. Try to choose friends who have similar values. Guard your friendships. You will only have a few true friends in your lifetime and they should be treasured like gold. You will never be "poor" if you have friends.
Learn to Like Yourself
Self-esteem is often troublesome, particularly when we are just beginning to learn about life. There will be a number of people ready and willing to point out your faults. Try to learn from honest criticism, but don't allow others to change your perception of yourself. The capacity to love and be loved is completely dependent upon our ability to like ourselves first.
Have a Positive Attitude
Start each day fresh. Every morning we have an opportunity to set the tone with which we approach that day. Find something to be happy about and something to look forward to each day. Life and our approach to living is ten percent what actually happens and the other ninety percent is how we react to what happens. If you can find the good in all situations or at least find some good, your life will be much happier. There are very few things in life important enough to require sadness or worry. Learn to recognize what is and is not important, and deal with the important matters with as much humor as possible.
Sa Bum Nim Jon Simonds